Why You Give Up So Easily On Your Dreams
Many of us are professional starters but very poor finishers. We seem to have a special gifting to pounce on ideas once they pop in our minds, but somehow we never drive them through to the end. Giving up and quitting seems to be written somewhere on our birth certificates. If that sounds like you then I look forward to sharing with you a less known or appreciated secret that would certainly turn you into the classic finisher you’ve been dreaming of becoming.
If you are familiar with Secret Agent movies, then you know that the only phrase that brings the paycheck through is “Mission Accomplished“. Not Mission Too Difficult, Mission Boring, Mission I’m Broke and definitely not Mission my parents/friends don’t agree/believe in me. I’m actually going to be focusing a lot on that last one. There are lots of reasons why people give up on their dreams, but it’s proven that the “What will people say?” question is the reason why most dreams never see the light of the day.
We humans are social creatures of habit, we tend to be influenced by the community or the people we spend most of our time with. To some point it’s like a spell that has been casts on us. We know we don’t agree with something but we simply don’t have the ability to actually and openly disagree. So we are condemned to tow the line, obey the rules, follow the pattern.
Of course you know that’s problematic, because nothing new will ever be invented if all we did was obey the rules. And you will never discover your uniqueness in towing the line. It’s actually on that dark path, road less traveled that lay most treasures. There’s nothing new to be discovered where everyone else has been. Decide right now to hold on to that dream, some may have called it a fantasy, that’s OK! Every accomplishment and invention was the result of someone braving the odds amidst disapproval and open rebuke from people.
Question for you: What feeling do you fhave when a teacher, parent or spouse shows open disapproval about you and your ideas? I bet you that it’s a feeling of doubt. It may not be noticeable on first occurrence but if your personality and ideas get rejected or disapproved over and over long enough you will definitely begin to doubt those ideas and yourself. Maybe something is wrong with me, you may say. This is why five, ten, fifteen years out of school, and you’re still carrying the concepts from school like: I am poor at Math, I can’t draw etc.
Most dreams are aborted because of this five letter word “doubt”. I am not sure…, I don’t think…, Maybe I should’ve… done so and so instead etc.
So what’s the way forward you may ask? That’s simple, the opposite of doubt – Conviction. You are either convinced about something or in doubt. The Cambridge dictionary defines conviction as “a strongly held belief or opinion”. However I prefer to define it in this context as:
You planting the seed of your idea (dream) in your heart and watering it till it grows into an unmovable tree.
Your dream is a seed, but by itself it has no roots or stamina to withstand the storms of disapproval, rejection and even natural life tragedies. You can picture the difference between a mango seed and a mango tree. So life’s question to you is how convicted are you about that dream? How convicted are you about your life’s purpose?
Without conviction you will be like ship at the shore without an anchor, sooner or later the waves of family, societal and cultural persuasion will sweep you away to anywhere a.k.a nowhere. So I will share with you some tips on how to develop your conviction and meanwhile, I remember when I myself almost aborted this vision of Wisdom for Dominion.
It was April 2017, barely 6 months after I had solely jumped to pursue this vision. My nation was in the midst of a crisis and internet connectivity was cut from my town Buea in the South West region. I couldn’t upload videos nor work online, good reason to abort the newly found dream? NO! I decided to move to the nearest town Douala with internet, twice a month given that I was a student on internship to upload my videos and manage this platform.
On this faithful morning, while promoting/sharing my videos (then I was shooting camera videos exclusively – no animations) on Facebook, I unfortunately shared a video where I spoke and discouraged abortion in a group with aggressive pro-choice members. To cut it short I was cyber bullied lol. I’ve actually never been so much insulted mistreated in my entire life lol. From the color of my skin to the tiny spelling omissions on my website.
To think I was a one man team then with a YouTube channel of seventeen (17) subscribers (all friends who subscribed without even watching a video) after 4 months of work, their insults were actually grounded. I was really poor on every measurable aspect and the insults began sink into my head. I began saying to myself – Bodas who sent you here? You left your comfortable bed, traveled to come sleep on your poor aunt’s old couch with mosquitoes, in this poor and swampy area of town all for what? You want to share the right wisdom for effective living – you can clearly see now that no one wants your product (ideas). Perhaps as they said, people from where I am coming from can’t do this… and on and on.
I’m honest with you, if there was a self-destruct button on this website, in the hype of emotion I should have pressed it that very moment with two hands. But thank God, I obeyed His voice to leave (unfollow) that abusive environment and after a couple of days of recovery, and recall of the rooted conviction in my heart I was back never to ever be moved again. I can tell you since then I’ve seen worse even as we went viral but I’m not moved because I grew from that experience.
You will definitely encounter similar situations in the course of pursuing your dream, but it’s only how convicted you are that you will survive. Has the dream taken roots deep into your heart? The mistake many people make today is that they receive a vision, dream, idea and immediately start running with it without any preparation or conception. Imagine a woman after intercourse with her husband shows up at the hospital the next day to deliver the baby? No conception yet, no development, nothing.
Fulfilling your dream is like making a baby:
- there’s conception, when you receive the idea from God.
- Then there’s gestation where you have to feed your dream (research, studies, networking etc.) making preparations to actually go and deliver.
- Finally there’s the delivery when you step out and change the world.
Therefore you develop your conviction by:
- Discover Purpose: Dr Myles Munroe always said “when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.” You must discover and understand your life’s purpose, your dream’s purpose. Why are you here, why do you want to do this? Your conviction develops in/on your purpose – like the pregnant mother. So if you don’t know WHY you’re doing it then you won’t even care to get started.
- Gaining clarity on your dream: What are you to do precisely, when, how, where, for who? The answers to these questions give you clarity and direction for proper preparation.
- Reading, research, studies: This is the gestation proper. You feed your mind so feeding the idea. You research on what others have done similar. You find mentors and submit to them so as to grow. A good example here from the Bible is the Apostle Paul. We may think after his encounter on his way to Damascus, he immediately set out to fulfill his purpose. Rather after his eyes were opened he spent another 13 to 14 years studying and receiving direct revelations from Jesus Christ. No wonder he is the greatest Apostle in spite all what he went through.
I must seize this opportunity to thank God for the life and impact of my mentor and father Dr. Myles Munroe. I could easily develop my conviction by just learning at his feet. After his passing unto great glory in 2014, the whole news drew my attention to his personality and teachings prior to which I didn’t know him. So from January 2015 to November 2016 when I decided to start, I had basically listened to his training every day and read his books. So my setting out was a culmination of a whole preparation process which I did with no idea of what lied ahead. THANK YOU so much Sir Myles Munroe for your incomparable example and glory to Jesus for the gift of you.
So that’s the secret to guarantee your glorious delivery. Don’t just set out, prepare yourself to set out. Don’t be intimidated nor focus on what people say, focus on developing your baby (idea). Mind those whom you confide in during this period when your idea is still fragile. Watch your inner circle and watch what information that you consume.
Hope you’ve been inspired by this, I’m curious to learn from you, your own story and thoughts on conviction in the comments below.
Thank you so much for reading. More on this subject in our upcoming E-book sequel – The 2nd Secret to Success. Stay Tuned!