7 Tips Making The Most of Your Single-hood
There is a season for everything. Your season of singlehood (unmarried) is not just a season to wait for marriage as many seem to make it, it has a purpose. Whether you plan to get married or not, you must not waste these precious years of being single. There is so much that if you do not achieve at this time, you may not be able to achieve later. As we go forward, we shall see 7 tips on how to maximise your singlehood; thus living happily single.
Tip 1: Serve God
The benefits of serving God cannot be over emphasized. God is not looking for people to exploit, He is looking for you to bless. If they obey and serve him, they shall spend their days in prosperity, and their years in pleasures(Job 36:11 KJV). No one serves Him at a loss. Your singlehood years are the years to serve God the most. Join a service unit, attend church meetings, go on outreaches etc, as much as you can now. When you get married, you will have so much else to do; to be a good spouse, a good in-law and a good parent.
If you complain when you are single that you do not have enough time to serve God, then when you get married and have children, you will likely not have anytime at all. Remember, no one is ever truly too busy for God, each person simply chooses what is a priority for them. Bishop David Oyedepo once said that “where your treasure lies, there shall your heart be and where your heart is, there shall your time be spent”.
Tip 2: Discover and Pursue Your Vision
Vision refers to the purpose for which you were created. You certainly where not born just to get married. Before getting married and getting someone involved in the main decisions of your life, make sure you have discovered your vision. Not everyone or even every Christian is going the same way you are going.
Love is certainly very important for a couple to be with each other, but apart from that, they need to agree to walk together: Amos 3:3; “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?“. One important area to agree is your vision. They might not be the same for both the man and woman but they should be compatible. Knowing your vision early enough will help you not to make a mistake in marrying someone whose vision is incompatible to yours.
Besides discovering it, begin to pursue. This is what is called ‘Ministry’. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth(Lamentations 3:27). Now that you are young with a lot of strength, zeal and vigor, there is no better time to start than now.
Tip 3: Use your Talent
Develop the natural abilities that have been deposited in you. They are there for a purpose. You will never reach your full potentials until you use the natural resources available in you. Why not start when you are single? Now that you have more energy and time for yourself, start processing the raw materials in you to make finished products.
The world will not just celebrate you for the talents you have but more especially for what you do with them. The creator deposited them in you to be a solution to world problems. Matthew puts it this way; “You are the Light of the World. Let that light shine”. Choosing to sit on them and do nothing will not only be disappointing to yourself but to the world including your future spouse and God Himself. See God’s rebuke to he who buries his talent: Matthew 25:
28: Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents.
29: For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.
My wish for you is that may you not be rightly accused of keeping your talents to yourself, thereby wasting them.
Tip 4: Invest in your personal development.
As a man, learn a skill and work. The husband is to be the provider of the family. Do not wait to have that family before looking for what to do. Do not lazy about waiting for a sugar mummy to feed you, you are the man for God’s sake. Even if it happens that your wife at some point in time earns more than you do, you should make sure, you have something doing to help out.
Inferring from the book of Genesis, a man that does not work is not qualified to marry. The First Man on earth was given a garden to ‘dress and to keep’ when he was still single. Marriage is for a Man and a Woman. Real men are not idle, they work. Now that you are single, get educated about a just, lawful and decent work and do one. Note that, education must not only be gotten within the four walls of an institution.
Ladies, we are not exempted at all. There is this saying of mine to ladies; “Single lady, develop yourself so much that when your prince charming comes, he will not find a damsel in distress but he would find a princess“. Wives are meant to be help mates not liabilities. Get a skill, learn a trade and do it. The Proverbs 31 woman is not just beautiful, she is a hard worker. Now that you are single, and your beautiful face is ever glowing, make sure that your brain is are at work too.
Tip 5: Build Your Spiritual Life
The earlier you know God, the better it will be for you. You will be able to avoid many mistakes and traps in life. Build the foundation of the spiritual atmosphere you will like to have in your home. If the foundation be destroyed, what shall the righteous do? Many times, we wish to marry spiritual spouses. While there is nothing wrong with that, make sure you also grow spiritually so that your spouse will not be your spiritual baby sitter.
Pray, Fast and study your Bible as many times as you can. Marriage is a battlefield (not between the couple). You do not start looking for weapons in the battlefield, you bring them along with you. Know your God and who you are in Him , in this season, so no one would be able to abuse your divine rights later on.
Moreover, we do not grow spiritually just for marriage, we do so more importantly, to get closer to the creator. As Daniel puts it: “Those who know their God shall be strong and shall do exploits. Know God for yourself, so you do not perish.”
Tip 6: Enjoy Your Friends
As beautiful as it is for a friendship to last a lifetime, when you get married, you will likely have less time to spend with your other friends. Friendship is a nice thing; …….and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24) At this moment, spend quality time with that friend.
The company you keep determines what will accompany you. So, choose your friends wisely, walk together ,learn from each other and grow together. Moreover, Iron sharpens Iron. Of course, you should make sure you are not dependent on them to be happy and fulfilled. Let God be your source of joy.
Tip 7: Prepare for Marriage.
For those of you planning to marry, do not rush into it without proper preparation. Cooks do not learn to cook during a competition, they learn beforehand. Marriage is not meant for children, it is meant for mature people. You get mature as you prepare yourself physically, psychologically and spiritually.
Physically, learn how to cook, how to be a home maker (especially as a woman), how to keep things in order, how to do the dishes, how to do laundry, and so on.
Psychologically, as a lady, prepare your mind to be respectful and submissive. You can practice with your parents, siblings and others around you. As a man, prepare to love unconditionally, start with those around you (I am referring to Agape Love). Both genders should learn how to forgive and let go.
Spiritually, as I said above, get closer to the Creator.
With these 7 tips in full practice in one’s life, I don’t see how possible it is to have a boring and unaccomplished single life. In fact, at some point in time, you may feel like not getting married because of how fulfilled you are as a single lady or man.
Anyway, there is a season for everything. When/If your time to marry comes, please, marry.
That’s it for now. You may have other tips to contribute, let me know in the comments below. I hope this has made a positive contribution to your life. If so, tell me your thoughts about it and share with your single friends, family members and even enemies.
Thank you for reading, Stay ever blessed!!!
Excellence Athumkezih A.
[Image Credits||Creator: michaeljung || Credit:Getty Images/iStockphoto]