Winning The Battle Against Low Self-esteem!
Self-esteem or self-respect or again self-confidence is defined by Wikipedia as an individual’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. Simply said self esteem is how you feel about yourself, how important or non-important you think you are, how pretty or ugly you think you are, or how weak or strong you think you are. Notice that I used the words “think” and “feel”. That’s because self esteem is mainly a state of mind, yeah that’s it, it all happens in YOUR head. In this article we shall be dealing with low self-esteem, how it comes about and how to overcome it. If you’re warring against low self-confidence, then I hope this is going to be a bullet straight in the face of that unhealthy state of mind
First, we must understand that our self image is shaped mainly in our childhood given that children are easily influenced. Children who grow up in an environment where they are mostly scolded at and belittled than they are appreciated and praised, are most likely to grow up with a bad self image. Words like “why can’t you do anything right”, “you are just good for nothing”, “look at how your fat”… act like hammers on a child’s self-concept. That’s why we should be very careful with the words we use in rebuking children cause those hammers don’t just hit once and go, most at times they keep hitting all through the individual’s life until they do like you’re doing right now, war it!
Low self esteem also arises when we fail to fit into standards imposed to us by our society dictating us how we should look, think, behave and even speak. More often than not, people who are “different” are regarded as lesser persons and that’s how they end up feeling about themselves.
Low self esteem may also originate from negative life experiences such as our failures, disappointments, abuse or maltreatment and from physical features such as our social rank, living conditions or physical appearance. I haven’t exhausted the list of those factors which contribute in lowering our self esteem but understand that anything you permit enter YOUR head and press the wrong button (low self-esteem button) will definitely do so, but I hope that after this war, that button will be in-existent.
So now, let’s see how to deal with this poisonous state of mind. Know that polishing your self-image and raising your self-confidence is not something that will happen overnight. It takes a little longer depending on how long you’ve been looking down on yourself. That’s why I previously compared it to a war, cause it won’t be easy. You’re trying to separate yourself from something which has practically been part of you and which has been controlling your behaviors and actions. Here are some tips on how to get your self-image back into shape;
1. Go Back to Your Source: As children of God our reference must always be the Holy scriptures. What God says about you stands today and forever. It does not matter what you did or didn’t do, doesn’t depend on people’s opinion neither on situations, it doesn’t change according to your failures or successes. The bible tells us that we all were created in God’s image and likeness. It means many of God’s attributes are embedded within us, all we need to do is discover them (By reading the word), understand them and allow the Holy Ghost empower us to manifest them. The word of God is a mirror in which you see your true image (the way God sees you), any other image appointed to you is from the devil.
King David for example, was a man that knew very well who he was, Psalms 139:14 says “ I will praise you; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are your works; and that my soul knows right well”. Note these words: fearfully and wonderfully made. That’s you!
I am not saying here that you should turn a blind eye to your flaws, no. Be sincere with yourself, know your weaknesses but do not be cast down because of them rather, be encouraged by the word of God to become the best version of yourself.
2. Don’t Compare Yourself With Or Try To Be Like Others: God so loves variety that he made each and every one of us unique and special. He wanted you so he created you and he made you just the way he wanted you to be. Your height, the color of your hair and eyes, the shape of your face, were all minutely designed by God. Trying to be like someone else is like telling God “Sir, you made an error while making me, let me show you how you should have made me”. That sounds funny, because we all know God is too perfect to make any error. So appreciate who you are, love yourself. It doesn’t mean you should not learn or take example from others but don’t try to like them. The best person you can ever be is yourself.
Now, think of a person or some people you’ve been comparing yourself to or tried to be like, even a music or movie star. Now Start conditioning your mind to stop comparing yourself to them. You may not succeed at once but the earlier you begin, the better it is. See, the photocopy will never match the original. Be an original, be yourself!
3. Guard Your Mind: Remember I said it all happens in your head. If your head (mind) is actually yours then you should be able to choose what gets in and what stays out. In there you’re the boss; you’re the only one deciding what happens, when it happens and how it happens. So take responsibility and do not allow any person, situation or society make you feel you are a lesser person.
Now, you might be telling yourself “that’s too much for me, I’m not that strong”, but I want you to please shunt that thought out of your mind right away. And replace it with this one “It’s MY mind, I am the ONLY boss in there, I am the ONLY one choosing what to take in!” I know you will do the right choice.
4. Engage The Power Of Words: If you’re suffering from low self esteem then you constantly have this devilish voice in your head always making you feel inferior. Now, the bible says life and death are in the power of the tongue. Never you use your mouth to confess what that voice tries to make you believe. Rather, confess the word of God every time and everywhere you hear that voice. Make it as audible as possible and allow those words to sink into you. When you get up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror and make positive declarations about yourself: I’m a champion! I am no destitute! I’m the apple of God’s eye, the head and not the tail! Christ in me, the hope of Glory! Make it as often as possible and with time you’ll realize how your mind is getting transformed.
5. Do Not Attach Your Value to Material Things: The size of your house, the mark of your phone, the size of your wardrobe, your physical appearance are all vanities. Deriving your value from those things means the day you lose them you’ll then become a very worthless person but that’s not how it is supposed to be. Look, the Almighty God judged you so important that he refused to see you perish and decided to send His only Son to die so you should live. He valued you that much before your first heart bit, before you stepped into this jungle like society. Before you started paying attention to your physical appearance, before you even knew what money is. And He still values you that much today independently of what you own or do not own.
So the next time you are tempted to feel down when you find yourself among people of a higher social class or when you think you aren’t well dressed enough for an occasion, remember your value is from the person you carry in you (The King of kings) and not from the things you own.
There is it. I hope you’ve been blessed. Remember this; you are never a finished work as long as you keep working on yourself. Believe in yourself, you can always be better.
If you loved this then you surely know someone that may love it too, sharing is caring. Thanks for reading and stay blessed!