3 Tips for a Successful Marriage
It is one thing to build a house and it is another thing to make it a home. No matter how worth a house maybe it takes more than dollars to make it a comfortable and pleasant habitation. These 3 ingredients for a successful marriage will provide precisely what it takes to make marriage work.
Whether you have been married for decades or you are just a young couple, I can assure you that careful application of these ingredients will definitely bring a positive change to your marriage. Because the marital problems of money management, love & affection, communication, and agreement are equally faced by both young and old couples.
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The 3 irrefutable ingredients for a successful marriage are:
Many marriages end up in divorce or separation not because of the absence of love but because the couples get to the point where they no longer know what to do to solve their problems. Wisdom by definition is “the ability to use your knowledge and experience to make good decisions and judgments”. The key word to note there is ‘knowledge’. Wisdom is basically the application of comprehended knowledge. When crisis hits your home, what do you do? When your kids start going wayward, what do you do? How about when your spouse suddenly starts changing attitude, what do you do? The outcome of your home is a result of your actions, which are a result of your decisions and judgments which were based on the knowledge you possess.
Therefore the more knowledge you possess about marriage, the needs of the opposite sex, bringing up children etc., the better your choices and actions and eventually a better home you will have. Knowledge makes the difference – actually understood knowledge. Reading books from renowned teachers with proofs to show on the topic of marriage is a great source of knowledge and wisdom. It’s definitely a dumb idea to take the advice of a divorcee on how to save your marriage. Go to those who have stayed in marriage long enough and learn from them.
You want to understand what habits to cultivate and what not to cultivate in your marriage. Ignorance is the greatest disease and killer of all time. Decide today to become a student in the class of marriage and home building so you can learn a lot of things amongst which are the greatest needs of your spouse. For example, unlike men whose number 1 need is sex, the number 1 need of women is affection. Many men misinterpret affection to be sex reason why an understanding of these differences in needs and many other things is important. Remember with the right wisdom, you can make anything work including marriage.
The lack of communication between spouses and between parent and children accounts greatly for family crisis. Family fellowship or communion is a vital tool for instilling proper communication habits into the family. These fellowships could take various forms which include:
- Dating Nights: Couples both young and old must continue in such fellowship activity to keep their romance flame burning. It is dangerous to get complacent and negligent after marriage. Remember the people your spouse gave up to be with you haven’t left the planet! They still wink at him\her at work and other places. So reinstating the passionate 1 on 1 nights will definitely continue to reignite your love and affection for one another. Going on dates with your spouse as often as once a week is a great thing.
- Family Game/Activity Nights: The television today is becoming the center of every family but very little or no interaction takes place during those hours in which we sit and watch that screen. Engaging the family in regular non-video gaming nights with multiplayer educational games such as monopoly etc. provide room for mutual interactivity and room for answering questions and educating your kids. Other activities could include actual sporting games, dancing and singing – anything to get interactivity and open communication at its maximum.
- Family Vacations/Outings: One of the greatest sources of joy are memories – good memories. Family vacations to far off places or simple outings to nearby trade fairs are a great way to make some happy family memories. Outings offer an opportunity for family socialization and bonding via the many appropriate and sometimes inappropriate questions children ask. A crafty blunder in marriage is to live by assumption – assuming that your family ‘knows’ you love them. The word “love” is a verb so you must get out there and manifest it. Family memories turn out to be the foundation of a child’s personality.
3) Family Devotion
Devotion here signifies the act of spiritual communion in prayers and study. It is without any doubt that the skyrocketing number of broken homes, street crimes, and sexual promiscuity in our societies today are evidences of some force actively pulling down the human dignity and society as a whole. Mental forces taking roots from centuries of misconception of truth and facts and spiritual forces battling the human soul. Daily and effective prayers and study of Biblical scriptures will help keep the soul in proper shape and provide authentic information for effective living as a family. Family devotion is effective platform for dealing with children’s behavior and character as it is a great room for open discussion and sharing of fears and worries. During fellowship and devotion, good habits and proper attitudes like honesty, integrity, openness, forgiveness, and tolerance must be encouraged. A praying family is a united family.
Clearly, though love will be plus, it is not a core pillar for building a successful home. Many divorcees still loved each other on the day of separation but somehow something was stronger than the love. With the perfect 3 ingredients of wisdom, fellowship and devotion in place, every marriage is set to withstand any storm that might come its way.
Talking of wisdom, I have personally read/reviewed and selected these best books on relationships and marriage to get you started and fully equipped to build your home. <link> Top Marriage and Relationship Books </link>. Check them out, get a copy of your choice and support us in the process. For a start I will recommend
<link> The Purpose and Power of Love and Marriage </link> by world renowned teacher and author on the subject Dr. Myles Munroe.
Finally, those were my 3 irrefutable ingredients for a successful marriage. Of course, the determinants of success in marriage include but are not limited to these three. So if you know any key ingredient for making marriage work which you will love to share, I, and you fellow readers will be pleased to learn from you in the comments below. For more on relationships and marriage, check out our <link> marriage and relationship </link> catalog of articles. Join the discussion in our <link> Forum</lin>. If you loved this article, then please share it with two (2) loved ones and leave your comments below. Thanks for reading!
Wisdom for Dominion